Here’s how serious works: If you are serious, you can’t have hair — so slick it back. Also, no makeup. Only a black smock, white handbag. No colors. No jewelry. Earrings are not serious. Your expression should imply that if someone had to rescue humanity by spitting out some poisonous venom on the alien invaders right this very goddamn minute, you’re the woman for the job. Because women and jobs and poison are SERIOUS.